Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
