I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
