We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
