I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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