It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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