it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
