thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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