People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
