how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
