dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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