I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
