none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
