i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
