My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
