: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
