Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
