I molested 6 butterflies tonight
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
where does the pee come out of this thing
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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