She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
