Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
do herpes really smell.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
