38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He felt like a one man threesome
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
