omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
