I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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