Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
