i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Quick, to the slutcave!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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