i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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