I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
