there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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