You can't special order awesome
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
