I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
