He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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