i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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