he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
