He is an equal opportunity slut.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
