So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
