I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
