ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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