Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
