i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
