have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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