I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
