we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I love you. Go after that dick
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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