Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
