I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
