I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We need to get me chipped asap
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
