i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I cut my penus on the lid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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