great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
