trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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