Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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