Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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