we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
