wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
